Lessons Learned Through A Cat

Poof! A small black cat jumped onto my lap, snuggled down and began to purr. Even on such a cheery brisk day near Halloween, this occurrence qualified as unusual. While I was assessing the figures from the weekend, he must have followed hotel guests through the automatic front doors. How funny to think of him strolling through the building with his tail held high, behind an unknowing employee as she entered the office to stamp her timecard. Though I would never definitively know how he came to be with me, it wasn’t long before ‘Salem’ was thinking of my ‘casa’, as his home.

Cats are intelligent, self-ruling creatures that choose their response to life situations. For instance, Salem never scratched me though there were times I tested his patience. I once lifted him in the air, and flipped him onto his back like a baby, smothering him with hugs and kisses. It had always been natural to snuggle my canine buddies – dogs revel in attention! By contrast, like Reepacheep from Narnia, these actions ruffled Salem’s poise. He could have growled or shred my face; he chose instead to gently communicate his displeasure by placing his velveted paws over my lips as if asking me to stop. When I positioned him again on the ground, he scampered just out of reach. He then turned to sit ever so regally, and quietly stare at me with calm, yet serious golden eyes.

He seemed to be attempting to convey the idea that he didn’t want to truly leave me, yet he likewise didn’t want to be handled in such an undignified manner. It occurred to me that through my overeager gestures, I took from him that which did not belong to me. Under the guise of giving affection, I was actually guilty of only fulfilling my own desires. And much as an attempt to satisfy hunger with the empty calories found in sweets, the joy I expected to feel through holding and snuggling Salem was elusive – incomplete. My action did come from a strictly giving source, and as such, it left me wanting.

Watching him, a slow dawning offered me glimpses of a heightened understanding for what the word ‘love’ means and something within me began to crumble. As with all the issues of humankind, edification in love entails innumerable layers of growth and development. It is a necessary aspect to existence, for the demise of the archaic to occur, to pave the way for something more. The tree trunk has its rings, the butterfly soars far beyond the cocoon, and the snake leaves behind a skin which no longer services. For me, ‘something more’ was a realization that when the root of all thought, intent and action is love, any lack of love, or stepping away from the purity of this base will generate an element of suffering instead of happiness.

It is often said that love involves sacrifice, yet love knows no limits. Each forward development in the ‘education of love’ facilitates a transcendence of the self…a stepping outside of who you believe yourself to be. Therefore, a sacrifice doesn’t actually feel like a sacrifice. It sits comfortably within. Love is the element that causes an individual to look beyond their own wants and desires. There is no seeking to gain personal accolades, happiness or completeness. Love is not selfish, and therefore, does not take; its only desire is the act of giving to create joyfulness for another. And wonderfully, the magnificence of this universe allows for a deeply rooted bliss to be experienced in return. The more you give away, the more fulfilled you feel. The recipient’s happiness bubbles up and overflows much like a natural spring. Your pleasure is born through their delight, not from within a self perpetuating fountain of need.

True love has the ability to shore up the heart on difficult days. In practical terms, these goals are achieved by using the power of imagination to walk the heart’s journey of another. The intent is the practice of compassion with the singular aim to share in an experience, from the perception and for the sake of the one loved.

When reciprocated, the sharing makes it possible for each party to move forward enriched in empathetic growth. It, and every other form of energy in the universe, excels to new heights when afforded the opportunity to flow in a cyclical direction. In addition, a unique magic occurs when the recipient freely returns the emotion to the source. For when two forces of both generative and receptive abilities connect, their reaction produces an infinite power as distinctive as any fingerprint. The birth is a third party creative force whose essence can never be duplicated by another party, as the ingredients automatically differ.

Love…it’s more than simply giving affection. It is the compassion of discerning that which would be best for another, without expectation in return. I perceive the purpose of our earth plane as providing a limitless opportunity for consciousness to explore its dimensions of self, and thereby expand in awareness and growth. As the superior connective force through which all flows, love is key to this process. One of the greatest separating factors on this earth plane is an immaturity in egoism. You see, there are many facets to this element referred to as ego, one of which is a self involved competitive strength. However, as with all complete elements, there also exists within the ego an opposite force - an enlightened power - which plays a connective, loving role. This beautiful ego aspect recognizes the spiritual energy from which we are each composed. It honors the divine flame in all that simply is, and with this recognition comes the ability to forgive. For when we perceive others through hearts of compassion, we know that each spark of the divine is here on a journey, making wrong turns, falling down and getting up. And wonderfully, this feature has appreciation for self – love of self – and recognition of self in others. As such, it does not maintain a belief in being separate. It lacks fear which would hold it back, and has hope in a better tomorrow. It trusts that every bit of motivation it receives is a love which pours forward from beyond it – through it - just as a seed is motivated by the creative force of love to follow the blueprint and manifest into that beautiful flower. This ego stands shining and tall, and reaches out to join hands, hearts and souls with others, to create a greater circuitry for love to power and illuminate outward.

What a great deal to absorb. Yet…with these thoughts in mind, if we were to make a sincere assessment of our motivation and intent, would we find that the activities we perceive as sacrifices are truly entirely selfless? Are they untainted acts of giving, from our loving core, simply for the sake of the recipient? Or could they possibly be driven by another motive, such as a duty, guilt or even reputation? As example, someone close to me appears to behave selflessly every day towards her family. She cooks, cleans, runs errands, makes phone calls and goes out of her way for those whom she loves. From a removed perspective, it would appear that these actions are self-sacrificing. And yes, certainly she loves her family, and that love is one reason for her behavior. However, through our many conversations, we uncovered another hidden motivation. She was raised in a home where approval was often withheld, criticism was extensive, and demands were high. Forever chasing that elusive affection became a pattern of behavior that continues today. As such, when she is sacrificing her time and effort, she is actually attempting to define her intrinsic value. This unconscious intent - this underlying objective, is actually self serving in nature, and completely contrary to the tenants of altruism.

The key to loving more fully is to focus on the intent. With a shift in intent, a natural shift in action will occur. Each day, nay, each moment is rich with opportunities to act from a loving base. Do you walk your dog simply to bring joy and pleasure to your dog or is the walk simply a means to a practical end, which happens to bring pleasure to your pet? Do you cook dinner for your family purely to create a pleasurable experience for others? Or do you cook for a variety of practical reasons, one of which happens to include happy tummies?

I began to approach Salem differently, and though he is very much his own man, we have spent 15 years growing ever closer. I’ve learned that he appreciates forehead kisses, enjoys being scratched just above his whiskers or under his chin and his tiny back toes curl when you gently rub his belly. He stretches his arms straight upward when you massage his chest or under his arms, and he adores back and neck massages. He learned that he can wake me in the morning with the slightest brush of his whiskers, or the gentlest head bump. Even so, he generously allows me to sleep in on Saturday mornings. In return, he learned that if he leaps onto the bed, and taps at the blankets with a front paw, I will lift them so he can climb under and snuggle up against me.

Through the years, he weighed, measured, took notes and eventually found me worthy of his affection. Now there are times while relaxing with my husband, when I look down in wonder, to find that Salem, on his own volition, has flipped onto his back and is snuggled in the crook of my arm much like a baby. In climbing into my arms, he offers me the precious gift of his love. And there has not been a single such occasion during which I have not been grateful for the experience.

I adore cats. I enjoy the willowy lines of their body, their graceful movement, the assorted purrs and trills their vocals can emit, and the independence of their nature. Most of all, I appreciate one very special kitty who coaxed me towards a greater understanding of selfless love.

…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.